The Real and Contradicting Family Cycle

One concept that really caught my attention was The Family Life Cycle brought to us by Olson and McCubbin. I believe that this concept should have been renamed "The Ideal Family Life Cycle" because in today's generation the family cycles I've witnessed have counteracted with this one and I think it's almost sad.  Most young couples in particular skip the first stage and go straight to the second, not out of love but more of a lust. Many girls I know feel like having someone's baby would keep that man around forever but as soon as the baby takes the first breath, that's when denial and accusation walk into the room. Stage 3 is a challenge because the single-parent home rate is so high, the parent doesn't get much time to develop as strong as of a family as two parents do. Stages 4-6, I will just ay children are a reflection of their parents, if the parents don't care, the children could possible acquire that down the line and it could really hurt their future. I do like the guidelines the author gives us -they seem accurate. But now the technology is starting to innovate, who may now what it could start doing to families, I'm starting to see the early signs now.

Taken In Vain

I hate to be the pessimistic individual for my generation but I believe my generation is screwed when it come to matrimonial commitments. For example, we all know who Kim Kardashian is -yeah she is one of the key players for neglectful marriage to come in the near future. She is one of many who just marry due to that "honeymoon" stage in a relationship, then when worst comes to worst, she wants to call it quits without even trying to to work it out. With that, she also gets a kick in finances -divorces are pricey. Also, I believe marriage is going to decrease more and more over the next 50 years because I feel like I'm coming from the era of separates, no one has time to invest and commit in a good, healthy traditional marriage. Many take marriage in vain, thinking that only because they had one venting session and a baby together, it's a must they have to vow to each other. Since the teen pregrnancy rate is increasing rapidly I also believe that their will be a decline in marriage -it's just too much too soon at such a young age. Hopefully, we can all go back to the traditional way of marriage and just take relationships one step at a time, not falling too fast so soon.

Thin Lines Between Family

Family to me, isn't something you could easily describe off the back. It is complex, well at least my experience with family thus far has been. Ideally, I would think that "family" would never neglect each other, backstab, or set another up for disaster. A family is a group of individuals, no matter what give unconditional love -beyond the meaning of life. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a family alone or like I am my family. Like I said, it's complicated. I consider a certain group of friends my family and it is perhaps very true. Family is what you can count on when you are at your lowest of lows. Family members, say the right things, no matter how harsh it may seem -they always provide the truth and nothing but. Conflict-habitual marriage, realistically fit my definition of a family. A lot of conflict always seem to happen, but we all stayed tied together because we know eventually one day we will need each other. I feel like my biological family is there for me, but only because they have to be. Regardless I will still love them forever and I will carry the weight for the rest of my life if I have to. The media always presents the vital marriage which is everyone's ideal family but I believe if each and every one of us face the reality of conflict and disagreements it makes families all the better, we already know what to expect without the sugar coating.

My Insane Love

One of the concepts I really found interesting was the topic about the different styles of love. I just want to add that the authors even uses primary and secondary colors (takes me back to Kindergarten) to make it even easier to understand and connect with my personal life. If I had to chose the style of love I demonstrate it would most definitely be a mixture of Eros and Agape love. Okay, yes I'll admit there is a little mania in there. But I have always been boy crazy, not because I'm mentally unstable or that I'm insecure or that I'm craving attention but because that's what they are placed on this earth for -that's how I've always been (no judgement). But I have always been the erotic and spontaneous type, in or out of a relationship. A relationship doesn't even have to be present in order for me to show my agape love either. When I love, I just love hard -I don't ever want it to be taken for granted. I do take things slow though. To me, I don't know everyone or what they have been through, especially the men I am attracted to. But unconditionally, I want to give people that love that they've never had before. I don't want recognition for the loves I possess because they will never change, they just make me who I am. This has been my most favorite concept throughout the entire book.

Deception

I feel like it is natural for people to represent themselves inaccurately, whether it happens in person or online. Exploration communication could be the alleviation of deception between these two different interactions. When we meet someone, we know nothing about them, they can feed us all types of BS and not one thing could be true. I would say, online initially could be less contradicting because when we do eventually meet that person face-to-face there happens to be a "environment spoiling" which could eventually lead to the deterioration of a relationship. We all sugar coat or sob out our lives in order to bait our potential significant others in. I think it's apart of human nature. Online and face-to-face interaction could both lead to deception because I know when I meet a cute boy, I boast myself up the best way I can just so he finds that spark of interest in me and we can keep conversing just so I know I am in the clear. I am the kind of person, depending on how bad the deception of a person personifies them self to be, I usually just try to work around it and keep pushing forward because I feel most deserve a chance.

Love is A Battlefield

I think I am going to tackle the second part first, if I may. My family isn't dysfunctional because they are human and make mistakes like everyone else in the world, that I do not hold against them but there are some underlying statements that can describe them well. I am the kind of person to where often I love my select few of friends more than I love my family. I have a big problem with one of my younger brothers, you can say he's experiencing a "bildungsroman" or that coming-of-age thing as a pre-teen. We have encountered a lot of issues as to where I question whether I actually do love him or not, I just know I am committed to him only because he's my brother. I feel terrible for not loving him but I come to reason that it's not his fault and that I've through it too -we all do. 
As far as romantic wise, I am not really great with the intimate relationships, I've only been "in love" once and I fell on my face with that. When it boils down, we were committed to each other but due to the fact that we were still young, in high school, him being a year older than me; the love wasn't allowed to shine through. It is difficult to put the whole "love" thing in words. It doesn't really exist in my world because it confuses me and it just contradicts my relationships, whether it be with family or a significant other. I'll stick with commitments for now since the tend to be more natural, I want love to come to me in the best measures possible without my feelings being hurt.
-I hope this post makes since and is clear :)

Too Social To Understand

I found the topic of distinguishing your "friends of the heart" and "friends of the road" a very interesting one because I could be a little too social to understand this concept. I try to make friends with everybody but then I tend to develop a different relationship some, compared to others. Like, I have my certain conversations with my certain friends but then I can not distinguish who my "friends of the heart" and who my "friends of the road" are. I believe that as I get older, I am starting to realize that you cannot trust everyone, not everyone accepts you for who you are, and not everyone will give you that support that you could be looking for. Me being the way I am, I should not cut off, but narrow down the count of friends and start becoming more humble with myself when it comes to "associates".

Don't Jinx It....

So usually I am more of a "tomboy", I have mostly guy friends and the guys take me in as one of them just in girl form. Even my bestestest friend is a guy! I've never had a true girl as a friend, they always seem to fall off the face of the Earth and life goes on for me. I have this one friend who is almost like my long lost twin. I never thought I'd see the day that I actually a girl best friend. Jayda is a lovely girl, inside and out. We just met this semester and so far so good. We started off with that first stage of "Role Limitation", I would see her ever now and then and we would go party hunting together -I knew she was my type. Hehe. Then we had started going on little mini adventures, nothing too complex just simple journeys, I noticed that we handled each others personalities and sense of humor. Finally, we skipped the "nascent stage and just went straight to the heart-to-heart sessions and yes, that put the cherry on top of our friendship. It's starting to sink in that I actually have a female peer in my life and I should cherish and appreciate this moment in time, it could be a forever thing. The world may never know.