After ready the section pertaining to Forms of Nonlistening, I couldn't help but laugh and compare my ways to what I had read. When talking to people, especially those who I am close with, I always tend to listen and then lead the conversation revolving around myself (Monopolizing). I don't think I do it on purpose but I do it just so they know that I am listen but in order to convince them that I am I come out with a story that similar to theirs. I feel like it brings our conversation closer. I seen it as a positive thing but I guess in certain, serious conversations I should be more considerate.
One issue I do have is Ambushing. It takes a lot for me to get mad, but when I am frustrated -I will take anything you say and use it against you. With my parents, I couldn't wait until they had something to say, just so I can reverse it on them and try to make a valid argument. But like we all know "Parents are always right" -__- But I do need to humble myself when I am frustrated, I would hate to say something that I don't mean and lose that persons trust.
Hi Tina!
ReplyDeleteI love this post and can totally relate! For some reason when you’re in a really great conversation you can’t help but bring up yourself and your own personal stories to the other person(monopolizing). As far as ambushing, I do the same with my parents! I only focus on certain things and just flip it in order to prove my own point. My biggest problem is defensive listening. I just take everything people say too negatively sometimes, that has gotten me into some trouble. But like you said, the best thing to do would be to examine the conversation and try to be considerate of others.
Many times we get distracted when talking to someone, especially, the ones close to us. I was in a seminar last month in Los Angeles, for child development organization. One of the guest speakers was making a speech on children development in Africa. He started making analogy of how poverty has affected the way children survive in Africa. He went on for a long hour, at a point I was zoned out of the speech, because I started thing of the hotel I was lodged in and the nice smile of the food that is going to be served for dinner. I was there, but not listening.
ReplyDeleteHey Tina! I enjoyed reading your post because based on your example, I too fall victim to monopolizing. I did not realize this until reading your blog, but I do this quite often in conversations with my peers! I don’t do it intentionally, but as a way to relate to them. It’s interesting to think we both don’t see it as coming across at first as being rude, only because you would think, just as you said, it shows them your listening and is a way to convince them by using similar stories of your own. However, I guess it can be distracting now that I look at it, causing the speaker to lose their train of thought or completely forget it! Whoops!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you because sometimes I do monopolizing also when I'm interacting with friends. It is not like I try to do it on purpose, but sometimes I feel like I need to add my own experience and thoughts because it is relevant to what they are talking about. I do not think it's rude when I do so, but maybe because I've always done it that I don't realize it. I definitely will be more mindful when I'm listening to a friend, especially one that is venting feelings to not monopolize because the focus should be on their problems and not mine. Like you, I also believe in serious situations, I should be more considerate.
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