The Ultimatum

The concept about Perception and Communication was a really hard concept to grasp -especially due to the fact that it was the last chapter we had read I just feel like it was repetitious to what we've previously learned. I think if we would have had a discussion dedicated to this chapter it would have been easier to understand. But most of all I just thought it was 'deja vu' about our other chapters. The Ladder of Abstraction threw me off as well because no matter how many times I read about it -it went through one ear and right out the other. Although the square of Cognitive Schemata was relevant to our generation, the ideas discussed in the chapter seem unavoidable in life and I think it is not necessarily irrelevant to the Communication concept but it could have better examples relating to our everyday lives like every other chapter.

From Like to Love

One of my favorite things about the class was the fact that we did have essays but they were spread apart to give me enough time to put my all into it. The simple fact that this class is not demanding what so ever made it even better. Also, I liked the fact the the professor was easy to contact although it was an online class. Another thing that I really enjoyed about the class was the fact the concepts related to my life right now. Every discussion topic we had was relevant to the topics we learned about and it helped me really connect with the material. If there was one thing I disliked about the class is the fact that I never got to actually see the professor in person. Although I had the opportunity to, I had to work and since it was not mandatory I didn't take advantage of that. I think if the professor dedicated the first day of session an in-class one, it would make the class easier and better to understand. I came into this class really skeptical and doubtful and now I'm wishing I would've embraced this class earlier in the year. I honestly think one or two in-class sessions would really make the class more interesting.

Too Many To Chose From

One thing that has seriously stuck with me and I share with my friends is the idea about the different styles of love that are given to us in Chapter 11. I have still been trying to apply the readings to every aspects to my life to figure out what type of lover I am. As of right now, I'm still unknown. We all possess different ways to love and it is influenced by how we were raised and the level of maturity that we reach in order to actual know what love is. 
Another concept that really intrigued me was about the different Non-listening we all engage in from time to time in Chapter 6. At first, I didn't know that you could categorize "ignorant" listening. With the information that I have acquired I have been able to present this information with my best friend who truly fails in the listening department. We are currently working on ways to engage and compromise our listening habits for each other.
This brings me to my last note, Chapter 10 'Friendship In Our Lives' really finalized the friendships that I have encountered this far in my life. "Friends of the heart" and "friends of the road" had really settled things in stone for. I used to want to be everybody's friend, but after reading the chapter I have a clear understanding of what an actual friend stands for and how hard it is to come by.
Overall, I underestimated Communications because it was something we did naturally. I didn't know that it came in various forms and varied among our ethnical backgrounds and even gender communities. This course had been the gate way for me to start being more eccentric about spending the rest of my life in [Mass] Communications -I am very much ready for the rest.

The Real and Contradicting Family Cycle

One concept that really caught my attention was The Family Life Cycle brought to us by Olson and McCubbin. I believe that this concept should have been renamed "The Ideal Family Life Cycle" because in today's generation the family cycles I've witnessed have counteracted with this one and I think it's almost sad.  Most young couples in particular skip the first stage and go straight to the second, not out of love but more of a lust. Many girls I know feel like having someone's baby would keep that man around forever but as soon as the baby takes the first breath, that's when denial and accusation walk into the room. Stage 3 is a challenge because the single-parent home rate is so high, the parent doesn't get much time to develop as strong as of a family as two parents do. Stages 4-6, I will just ay children are a reflection of their parents, if the parents don't care, the children could possible acquire that down the line and it could really hurt their future. I do like the guidelines the author gives us -they seem accurate. But now the technology is starting to innovate, who may now what it could start doing to families, I'm starting to see the early signs now.

Taken In Vain

I hate to be the pessimistic individual for my generation but I believe my generation is screwed when it come to matrimonial commitments. For example, we all know who Kim Kardashian is -yeah she is one of the key players for neglectful marriage to come in the near future. She is one of many who just marry due to that "honeymoon" stage in a relationship, then when worst comes to worst, she wants to call it quits without even trying to to work it out. With that, she also gets a kick in finances -divorces are pricey. Also, I believe marriage is going to decrease more and more over the next 50 years because I feel like I'm coming from the era of separates, no one has time to invest and commit in a good, healthy traditional marriage. Many take marriage in vain, thinking that only because they had one venting session and a baby together, it's a must they have to vow to each other. Since the teen pregrnancy rate is increasing rapidly I also believe that their will be a decline in marriage -it's just too much too soon at such a young age. Hopefully, we can all go back to the traditional way of marriage and just take relationships one step at a time, not falling too fast so soon.

Thin Lines Between Family

Family to me, isn't something you could easily describe off the back. It is complex, well at least my experience with family thus far has been. Ideally, I would think that "family" would never neglect each other, backstab, or set another up for disaster. A family is a group of individuals, no matter what give unconditional love -beyond the meaning of life. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a family alone or like I am my family. Like I said, it's complicated. I consider a certain group of friends my family and it is perhaps very true. Family is what you can count on when you are at your lowest of lows. Family members, say the right things, no matter how harsh it may seem -they always provide the truth and nothing but. Conflict-habitual marriage, realistically fit my definition of a family. A lot of conflict always seem to happen, but we all stayed tied together because we know eventually one day we will need each other. I feel like my biological family is there for me, but only because they have to be. Regardless I will still love them forever and I will carry the weight for the rest of my life if I have to. The media always presents the vital marriage which is everyone's ideal family but I believe if each and every one of us face the reality of conflict and disagreements it makes families all the better, we already know what to expect without the sugar coating.

My Insane Love

One of the concepts I really found interesting was the topic about the different styles of love. I just want to add that the authors even uses primary and secondary colors (takes me back to Kindergarten) to make it even easier to understand and connect with my personal life. If I had to chose the style of love I demonstrate it would most definitely be a mixture of Eros and Agape love. Okay, yes I'll admit there is a little mania in there. But I have always been boy crazy, not because I'm mentally unstable or that I'm insecure or that I'm craving attention but because that's what they are placed on this earth for -that's how I've always been (no judgement). But I have always been the erotic and spontaneous type, in or out of a relationship. A relationship doesn't even have to be present in order for me to show my agape love either. When I love, I just love hard -I don't ever want it to be taken for granted. I do take things slow though. To me, I don't know everyone or what they have been through, especially the men I am attracted to. But unconditionally, I want to give people that love that they've never had before. I don't want recognition for the loves I possess because they will never change, they just make me who I am. This has been my most favorite concept throughout the entire book.

Deception

I feel like it is natural for people to represent themselves inaccurately, whether it happens in person or online. Exploration communication could be the alleviation of deception between these two different interactions. When we meet someone, we know nothing about them, they can feed us all types of BS and not one thing could be true. I would say, online initially could be less contradicting because when we do eventually meet that person face-to-face there happens to be a "environment spoiling" which could eventually lead to the deterioration of a relationship. We all sugar coat or sob out our lives in order to bait our potential significant others in. I think it's apart of human nature. Online and face-to-face interaction could both lead to deception because I know when I meet a cute boy, I boast myself up the best way I can just so he finds that spark of interest in me and we can keep conversing just so I know I am in the clear. I am the kind of person, depending on how bad the deception of a person personifies them self to be, I usually just try to work around it and keep pushing forward because I feel most deserve a chance.

Love is A Battlefield

I think I am going to tackle the second part first, if I may. My family isn't dysfunctional because they are human and make mistakes like everyone else in the world, that I do not hold against them but there are some underlying statements that can describe them well. I am the kind of person to where often I love my select few of friends more than I love my family. I have a big problem with one of my younger brothers, you can say he's experiencing a "bildungsroman" or that coming-of-age thing as a pre-teen. We have encountered a lot of issues as to where I question whether I actually do love him or not, I just know I am committed to him only because he's my brother. I feel terrible for not loving him but I come to reason that it's not his fault and that I've through it too -we all do. 
As far as romantic wise, I am not really great with the intimate relationships, I've only been "in love" once and I fell on my face with that. When it boils down, we were committed to each other but due to the fact that we were still young, in high school, him being a year older than me; the love wasn't allowed to shine through. It is difficult to put the whole "love" thing in words. It doesn't really exist in my world because it confuses me and it just contradicts my relationships, whether it be with family or a significant other. I'll stick with commitments for now since the tend to be more natural, I want love to come to me in the best measures possible without my feelings being hurt.
-I hope this post makes since and is clear :)

Too Social To Understand

I found the topic of distinguishing your "friends of the heart" and "friends of the road" a very interesting one because I could be a little too social to understand this concept. I try to make friends with everybody but then I tend to develop a different relationship some, compared to others. Like, I have my certain conversations with my certain friends but then I can not distinguish who my "friends of the heart" and who my "friends of the road" are. I believe that as I get older, I am starting to realize that you cannot trust everyone, not everyone accepts you for who you are, and not everyone will give you that support that you could be looking for. Me being the way I am, I should not cut off, but narrow down the count of friends and start becoming more humble with myself when it comes to "associates".

Don't Jinx It....

So usually I am more of a "tomboy", I have mostly guy friends and the guys take me in as one of them just in girl form. Even my bestestest friend is a guy! I've never had a true girl as a friend, they always seem to fall off the face of the Earth and life goes on for me. I have this one friend who is almost like my long lost twin. I never thought I'd see the day that I actually a girl best friend. Jayda is a lovely girl, inside and out. We just met this semester and so far so good. We started off with that first stage of "Role Limitation", I would see her ever now and then and we would go party hunting together -I knew she was my type. Hehe. Then we had started going on little mini adventures, nothing too complex just simple journeys, I noticed that we handled each others personalities and sense of humor. Finally, we skipped the "nascent stage and just went straight to the heart-to-heart sessions and yes, that put the cherry on top of our friendship. It's starting to sink in that I actually have a female peer in my life and I should cherish and appreciate this moment in time, it could be a forever thing. The world may never know.

Trust Issues..

"Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!"

- Bronwyn Polson
I back this quote up 100%, if you haven't been through a lot of heartache, struggle, or pain with a friend; the you've never really experienced the genuine meaning of friendship. But are the challenges really worth it in the end?One issue that most individuals that partake in a friendship is trust. It was one of the topics on the advice forum. In the reading it states that dependability and emotional reliability are the key ingredients for a successful and long-lasting friendship. In all honesty, what would be the point of being friends when one cannot vent to the other or when one exposes another's biggest, darkest secret. Friendships are hard to build in our generation because everything is taken for granted. As we become older and wiser, it seems like your bike riding budding turns into a jealous enemy who would try to get as close to you as possible to tear your foundation or success down. Unfortunately, that is the harsh reality of friendship and after viewing the issues that revolve around friendships I think I will continue to keep my number to the bare minimum.

4 Deadly Tactics (Topic of Interest)

I believe this is one of the reasons why I am still single today.... A mature relationship consists of 4 things: Investment, Commitment, Trust, and Comfort with Relational Dialectics. For starters, this is a very exhausted list of things that are necessary in order to have a healthy relationship. It isn't possible to have one and not the other, for example Investment and Commitment. You can't invest all your time and energy into an individual without having some form of relation and connection with that person. I feel like a lot of couples today possess 3 traits but leave out one which is essential to them having a really smooth relationship. Personally, not only do I feel I am too young to find these four things in someone, but it takes dedication and if I have to wait a lifetime to find that someone that is willing to do all four things with me then I believe thats what it will have to be. A relationship is also a responsibility and some individuals should get more well acquainted with the idea of a relationship before engaging into one.

No Empathy Taken

Oh my gosh, I couldn't wait to tackle this topic about being and feeling disconfirmed, even with those I hold close to my heart. We're all human so of course we all have stories to tell about this defensive communication. I have so many, I don't know where to start. But I think I'm going to talk about my best friend, Julian. You may think since we best friends, especially a boy and a girl couple, that we'd have the most love-y, dove-y friendship -almost to where we're dating but without the title, guess again. Although he is my best friend, I also think he's a robot. I'd spend hours with this boy and when I tell him something, I'd expect him to react a certain way. Nope, not at all! Instead he gives me the most barefaced, vague answer, and then blows off my feelings like they never exist. He's not the sensitive, "venting to" kind of guy. And although it bothers me, I've learned to compromise. I try not to put to many feelings on him now, instead I give him a little at a time and just push the reaction that I want out little by little. He's also starting to be more empathetic when we talk now that we don't live near each other anymore. I don't give him a taste of his own medicine. I just cope with him. I just hope that over time he hits his feelings landmark.

High School

When everyone goes through high school, we all encounter that one person that we just didn't agree with. There wasn't an exact particular reason why, it was just like that. As friendly as I am, there was a girl who just couldn't agree with my personality and I couldn't agree with hers either. She never acknowledged my presence when I would walk into the class room, it was cool thought, I didn't need her too. She would talk about me while I was around, just seeing how far she could push me. I realized that although we disconfirmed each other, I couldn't stoop to her level. Although I could've fought her and gotten away with it, she wasn't worth the time and energy. I endorsed that to her, why talk about others when you are no better than anyone else. I think confirming and disconfirming was a highlight of my high school years now that I look back. Certain things should have been ignored, while some things should have been reinforced, and other things that should have been more recognized. Time will go on...

Choosing Whether and How to Express Emotions

The concept I felt was interesting to discuss was whether and how to express our emotions. Anytime I engage in some sort of conversation to where it's like a debate or even a civil argument, I always tense up to where I forget my words. After the conversation is over, I get like a spontaneous recovery of what I was going to or should have said. I always talk to myself, coaching myself through "next time"; if it happens next time those are going to be the first things I say. If I take into consideration "evaluating your current state", recollect myself, I'd probably be able to express the feelings that I should at that given time. After awhile, I sometimes realize that maybe it was meant for me to state some of the feelings that had slipped into the back of my mind. I do not always monitor and humble myself on certain things I express, so on the optimistic side pre consciously my emotions are sorting themselves out without my feelings getting in the way.

Emotional Percpectives

The idea of Emotion Work applies to my life in many way, that I have not noticed before. For one, I do not believe in grudges. Why do I say this? Wood talks about how it is wrong to "be gleeful when someone you dislike is hurt". I can agree but many of us, as humans ignore the moral factors. I do have some individuals in life that I dislike, many of them have humiliated me or has done something that has hurt my feelings but I taught myself how to manipulate the emotions of "revenge" or getting even. I can't get mad nor can I stay mad. Although I want to "dislike" that person forever, in my head -they get another chance. Another example is like a homeless person, when they ask me for money, if I have it I'll give it to them with no hesitation. A lot of people would say "They're drug addicts" or "Why pay them for being lazy", but to me if those are their habits of keeping them alive, then so be it. I do not sympathize nor do I grieve, I just hope and pray they continue to live their chosen path, as happy as can be. There are just certain emotions and instincts I cannot control and rather not change -even if it makes my neighbor happy or sad.

Epic Faliure

A fallacy that I have really recognized within my life, especially since I started college -Fear of Catastrophic Failure. I have been having terrible anxiety although it's only the only first semester of college, I'm just really fearful of the long run. Will I be able to schedule my classes without conflicting with my work schedule? Will I be able to make all my payments on time? I watch my every move, just everything because I am afraid of everything that could jeopardize my education. I am the first in my family to go to college and I don't want to disappoint them or becoming another statistic.  One way I have been coping with this fallacy though has been through meditating with myself; having "me" time. Taking it one day at a time and being in touch with God (no offense) has really allowed me to just chill out. As far as my communicating, I have became more responsible with this fear because it has allowed me to become more resourceful,  organized and guided. Each and every day I try not to think too many negative thoughts out what the future may hold, only focusing on my today. We should recognize that faliure isn't always bad, it always you to learn from your mistake(s)
 :)

Listening Is A 10 Part Skill -True Story!

I believe if I had not read this little selection, I would probably still be falling asleep in my lecture classes. What I learned from this is that listening has to become almost like a job. We have to find the positive side  and interesting facts within our listening, there is no such as thing as an uninteresting subject. Nichols also makes the point that we should judge the subject and not the way it is presented to us. In comparison to my life, I love politics but in my poly sci. lecture class all he does is talk and talk, but I need to overcome that and find my focal point. I'm glad the point was made that taking notes is essential because I've been taking cornell notes since my freshman year in high school so I  know how to pick out important information and take quick notes. I think overall, listening can be a challenge to some and a piece of cake for others -we must find a love for it though because that is the only way we will be able to renovate our lives.

Mindful Listening

One concept I found interesting that I would like to focus on are the Obstacles of Mindful Listening. When I really want to learn about something, it's really are to stay attentive. I think my attention span is slim to none. I think one way to overcome all the obstacles is reading more often and doing more brain exercises. I use to be really brainy but then I hit the middle of high school and just gave it up. Now that I am in college, I realized that almost everything I do will impact my future in a positive or even a negative way. I would like to get over the "this is too complicated" and really spend my time and knowledge to get on a better understanding on what's unknown to me. Thankfully, I am a natural mindful listener, I am open minded and considerate so I believe if I really but my heart into what I hear and learn, things will come a lot smoother.

Am I really listening?

After ready the section pertaining to Forms of Nonlistening, I couldn't help but laugh and compare my ways to what I had read. When talking to people, especially those who I am close with, I always tend to listen and then lead the conversation revolving around myself (Monopolizing). I don't think I do it on purpose but I do it just so they know that I am listen but in order to convince them that I am I come out with a story that similar to theirs. I feel like it brings our conversation closer. I seen it as a positive thing but I guess in certain, serious conversations I should be more considerate.
One issue I do have is Ambushing. It takes a lot for me to get mad, but when I am frustrated -I will take anything you say and use it against you. With my parents, I couldn't wait until they had something to say, just so I can reverse it on them and try to make a valid argument. But like we all know "Parents are always right" -__- But I do need to humble myself when I am frustrated, I would hate to say something that I don't mean and lose that persons trust.

Stereotypes, My Life, and Other Unfortunate Events

The concept I found the most interesting, was the one about constructivism. We all endure schemata each and every day. I can really relate to this topic because I was always the black sheep through out school. When I relocated to Stockton, I didn't live in the best neighborhoods. But due to my advance knowledge and intellect I was able to attend the best elementary and middle school which also set me up for the best path in high school. I was in the G.A.T.E. program which stands for: Gifted and Talented Education. I loved the challenge; I was reading college level books in third grade. But unfortunately, especially where I am from, it is rare to see an African American advance in their studies. For some strange reason, I was teased for being black and smart. One girl asked me if I needed condoms since the teen pregnancy rate is at its all-time high, specifically among Black women. I never really understood the concept of stereotypes until I got to high school. Teachers were in shock that I would walk into their AP classes. The stigmas I had to face sucked, but I couldn't react the way they expected me to though. I faced many situations to where the enemy would want me to get mad but I kill them with kindness. Fortunately, I graduated the top 10% with high honors so I guess you could say I'm still proving those stereotypes wrong, I will not be conforming anytime soon :)

The Melting Pot

Sadly to say, America has become the melting pot for many cultures and religions. But on the brighter side, I do agree with Rev. Jackson when he states that we are "rainbows and a family quilt". So many generations have invested into this country, but many have still not been recognized, just swept under the rug. There are so many traditions that I not respected like Ramadan for example. Although of Muslim kids take a lot of heat and pressure in school.
If I had a metaphor that compliments Jess Jackson's, I would say "America has the simplistic beauty like no other". We are always shifting and changing almost everyday, for instance, I had NO idea it was illegal for vendors to sell plastic bags out here in San Jose. I went from plastic bag city to eco-friendly. I thought that is a perfect way to prevent global warming, I'm not even into stuff like that. We do have almost everyone in the world here, I just hope that we the people can come to a mutual understanding and respect, after all this is the land of the free right?

Hate Now, Freedom Late?

As I read the hate speech expert, I was shocked at the arguments that were proposed towards "hate speeches". I cannot believe the heights of ridicule America has reached. Yes, in our constitution it states that we have freedom of speech, religion, press, and all that other good stuff. But if you jump down to about the Fourteenth Amendment, it also states that basically everyone deserves and will get equal rights -this in particular excludes discrimination. Public hate speeches are discrimination and not only bring shame to the group thats giving their "hate speech", but also to America. I understand that we all have feelings that we feel are so important to where they need to be shared with the world, but there should be a line. Now I'm not saying hate speeches should be censored, but they should very well be limited, almost restricted for the most part. What is the point of the hate speech? How is it going to benefit your group, beside all the bandwagoners who eventually wear the wagon down? There are plenty of ways to express "hate" in a much more respectful manner although it does not have a positive connotation. Honestly, hate speeches is just an add to our society, I know its something that won't ever change. Everyone will challenge it  just like gay marriages and polygamy. In all seriousness, I believe hate speeches shouldn't be shared with the public and should be more regulated and observed by high officials. If it were up to me, I would ban hate speeches, just because "speeches" is in the as a scape goat word, when in reality it's discrimination. What are, we the people, suppose to possibly do when a hate speech is given to us?

Improving Thy Self

The "Improving Self-Concept" caught my attention the most. It was a pretty lengthy section but to sum it all up, there are many factors in our lives that need to be considered before making a change. At a certain point in our lives, we come to a crossroad where we feel like our mentalities just don't seem to fit so we want to alter that. It is very afflicting when you have the people who know you the best not agreeing with the change. My question is: What are we suppose to do, are they really my friends, who's really going to understand? I love this concept though because for myself, I am a very outgoing and outspoken individual. I can be humble when necessary but for most of the time I'm just really bubbly. Coming into college, I wanted to be in the back of the crowd, be the observer; but that definitely did not happen. I realized that that is apart of my character, that is really who I am. Now my cursing habit, I do want to improve on that; and like the book stated "Set Goals That Are Realistic and Fair". I am really trying to cut back on the habit, I am seeing a great deal of improvement, little by little. I have to constantly remind myself that it isn't lady like and it goes against my moral values and religion. I don't want to be seen as the intelligent girl with a sailor's mouth.

I hope you all feel slightly inspired to improve something in your life even if it's something little like my cursing habit. I believe in the long run, it will pay off and it will be noticed. Also, you'll feel better about yourself -you get that extra boost of confidence :) -Peace&Love

Back 'N The Days v. Nowadays

So I don't know many people other than my parents, that are comfortable enough with me to let me know what life was like 20 and 40 years ago. So instead, I interviewed my roommate's parents who satisfy the 40+ and her siblings(one boy and one girl) who satisfied the 20+. It was quite interesting to find out that their experiences were not that different. Her mother had started that they were expected to go to school, get good grades, participate in many activities as possible; college was not an option, it was an expectation. For the men, they had be "cool", no car means no ladies. No job, no ladies. For the women, their skirts were no where near as short as they are now. Tight clothes were frowned upon. The women had to "fit the image", they caked on make-up, shopped at the same popular outlets. I can tell that being a lady then is almost the exact opposite of what is excepted now. Her siblings info was pretty much the same which makes sense because after their generation was when the rebelling began. I can most definitely decipher the era change for men and women. The balance beam has switched up, one of my 20 year old male acquaintance stated that much is expected of him "the buffer the better, the smarter the more wealthier.." as for women, we grew into independency. My sister who is shy of 26 says that doesn't depend on any body because now everyone is for them selves. It has become a world of survival of the fittest now. I can only imagine what it's be like 20+ years from now, when we are the actual adults >:)

Race It's Who You Are

Race is how we define our cultures and heritages, to set ourselves apart from others. In other words, we are all some kind of race or ethnicity. Race really helps classifying individuals because if this were just a black or white world, then we really wouldn't know who we are and our roots. Many people take pride in their race such as myself for example. I am Nigerian and Jamaican -not African-American. I take so much pride in who I am because my heritage has meaningful history that not many people can say same about. But to contradict this, race is just a label. How you represent yourself is what matters most. Yes, I am black but I am a sophisticated young woman. The Census Bureau shouldn't allow to check multiply races because then we'll have the people who THINK they are one thing but they really aren't. When it comes to the Census, it should go by what race your father was because our father's are dominant. But if they are not present, then it should be based on our mother's ethnicity.

The double negative of communication

The statement "We cannot not communicate" is positively a double negative but is a true Statement. Being the we are humans, we have many needs that need to be met in order to survive, the only way of getting that satisfaction is through communication. This world would not spin if we were unable to commmunicate. I sometimes have those days where I do not want to interact nor speak to anybody, but I'm super social so its almost impossible for me to not communicate. Another concept that I would like to touch basis with is the fact that once something is said and done, there is no taking it back or reversing it. There has been many of times I've said some crucial things, that are way out of my character especially. Fortunetly, I do not hold grudges and I make it known that although it was said it wasn't meant. And like they say "actions speak louder than words".

The Curious Case of "I-You" evolving into "I-Thou"

I have ALOT of friends, I don't know any other way to emphasize that. I adore all my friendships because each individual has a different effect on my like whether it's minor or serious. I am very open with most of my acquaintances because I want them to respect the person I am.  But there is only one, and I mean one relationship that I never thought would escalate to where it is now. It's with my best friend Julian, for now we'll call him "Jules" (his nickname from me to him). We started off just as an "I-It" type of communication, we were new hires at my job, very young, "trying to fit in" type teens. I never really seen him because we worked different shifts, but when I got the chance to really size him up, I almost fell in love. He had some type of persona that I never seen in a boy before, it was weird, I was too shy to act on it. Then one day, we had a shift together, we spent the entire time talking about all kinds of stuff. I truly do not know how we ended up with each others numbers but I knew it just felt right. We stayed up every given night talking for up to 6 hours, probably more. He was just everything I ever wanted in a guy friend. We had venting sessions and secret sharing sessions, at this point we had our feet well into the "I-You" communication relationship. In my head, we were like boyfriend and girlfriend without the title.
To make a long story short, we had gotten into 4 major fights (arguments), the type where we gave each other the cold shoulder and the silent treatment. Inside, I felt my heart deteriorating every day I stood without him. I would be the first one to apologize, I can't ever hold a grudge especially to a boy I appreciate and adore so much. Now that we've been best friends for a year and a half, I know we are well into the "I-Thou" communication, regardless of the distance. Once you create that type of communication, that person is irreplaceable. Looking back, I most definitely see where our boundaries are as a couple and he still respects me no matter what circumstances come our way. My best friend is like a lover, brother, and a friend in one package :)

Linear Vs. Interactive

I know for a fact we all have a problem with focusing for a long time, listening to a teacher or professor lecture. In other words, it seems like time is in slow motion and your eyes drop with the time -_-. For me, this is a perfect example of a type of "linear model" of communication. Honestly, information goes through one ear and definitely out the other. Linear model communication is not a favorite to kinesthetic learners such as myself. This form of communication is for auditory learners or in better words, those who like to listen or are too shy or lazy to follow on the information given. In contrast, "interactive models" of communication are my best friends. I am able to interact with my peers, a group who has pretty much the same knowledge as me, we're able to use our resources in order to understand a lecture or whatever is going on. Also, questioning is a great way to communicate in order to get a better understanding of what's going on; yet another way to put "interactive models" of communication into perspective :)

PerfectlyImperfectBio

Hello, I am Folasade Ogunbanwo but I go by Sade' (Shaw-day). I am currently 17 going on 25(sarcasm) on September 14th. I still want to be a big kid sometimes but who doesn't. I am a first-year student, fresh meat is what I think of. I was born and raised in Tracy,CA but relocated to Stockton,CA. Yes, it is on of the 10 most dangerous cities in the nation but that doesn't make up the person I am. As you can see, I have a sense of humor, very outgoing, always optimistic, and always trying to see how I can help others or benefit myself. I come from a sort of broken home, I don't really blame my past on my present and future. My mom raised me along with 4 and half siblings (I have a half brother that she used to raise, he counts). I've come a long way, and my journey is just beginning.
I have a very big and loud voice that is very distinctive and easy to point out. I love to talk especially to motivate others. That's how I "communicate" with others, through encouraging and optimistic conversations. I have zero experience in communication studies, I am open minded to what I will acquire in the class. I mainly hope to enhance my communication skills and become more educated on the forms of communicating. Also, I want to make sure that the degree/major I am aiming for is suitable for me, which happens to be Public Relations by the way. I hope that everyone enjoys my posts; bear with me though, blogging is very new to me.